| Sexual etiquette in
marriage
At the beginning of
sexual intercourse, pronounce the name of God by
reciting "Bismillah" and recite the Takbir and
Tahlil after Chapter Ikhlas and say 'O God, if Thou
takest out semen from my back, make it a good issue.'
The Prophet said: 'In the name of Allah. O Allah!
Protect us from Satan and also protect what you bestow
upon us (i.e. the coming offspring) from Satan, and if
it is destined that they should have a child then, Satan
will never be able to harm that offspring." The result
is that the devil will not be able to injure a child
that is born from this intercourse.
Don't face the Ka'bah at
the time of intercourse and cover your body and the body
of your wife. The Prophet used to cover his head, close
his mouth and say to his wife, 'Take peace.' There is a
Hadith which says: When anyone of you comes to his wife,
let him not fall suddenly upon her, but let him speak
words of love to her and then kiss each other. The
Prophet said: Let none of you fall suddenly upon his
wife like a lower animal. Let him send the Envoy before
cohabitation. Someone asked 'What is the Envoy O
Prophet?' He said, 'kisses and words of love.' The
Prophet said: In three matters, the weakness of a male
is disclosed. Firstly if a lover meets his beloved, and
then they separate without enquiring into their mutual
condition and health; secondly, rejecting the honour
which someone wishes to pay him [i.e., by rejecting a
gift which was offered]; thirdly to engage in sexual
intercourse with the wife or the female who is legally
permitted, without talking to her or kissing her or by
being unable to restrain the ejaculation of semen before
that of his wife.
It is not commendable to
cohabit with the wife on the first, middle and last days
of the lunar month. It is commendable to cohabit on a
Friday evening. After ejaculation, the husband should
let his body lay some time upon his wife until she
climaxes, as she is slower to climax. It is painful for
her to be separated from her husband once her sexual
passion has been aroused.
A young husband should
enjoy sexual intercourse with his wife once every four
days. To preserve the character of the wife, this may be
increased or decreased. Sexual intercourse with the wife
at the time of her menstruation is unlawful. However, it
is lawful to enjoy her without sexual intercourse e.g.
enjoy the region beneath the petticoat, or if there be
such a need, even use the wife's hand for his
ejaculation and stop short of actual copulation [in
Arabic terminology, this is known as jima' bil yad,
which means 'intercourse by hand.'] God says: "Your
wives are a tilth unto you; so go to your tilth when and
how you will." A man may keep company with his wife
during her menstrual period for eating, resting/sleeping
[without copulation] or other purposes. He is not
obliged to avoid her. |